September is wrapping up, literally, in like, two days, everything will be shut down and we will be fully embracing October like the basic bitches we all are, pumpkin spice latte in hand, trenchcoats for days. Or, if you’re like me, you’ll probably still be clinging onto the last moments of summer, wishing the days stayed longer and the nights remained cool and short.
I set up the month half-assed as Intentions Month, the Purpose Issue, also known as the artist formerly known as, Answering the Call—mainly because I needed my own sort of motivation to remind myself what the intention was with my blog and where I was going with this whole thing, but what I learned along the way was that setting intentions is a lot more powerful than we give credit. For example, this month started off pretty shitty. Firstly, I ended up spilling water all over my laptop causing the battery to fry and the entire thing to basically stop working altogether. I ended up finding out that the cost to replace it was almost entirely the same cost of a new laptop, so after crying and having a full on meltdown, I pulled out my credit card and charged up a new MacBook.
Everything that proceeded the MacBook debacle was either success or total regression, there was no in between. There were moments throughout my month when I felt like I was beating my head against my wall trying to push through writer’s block, low self-esteem, and lethargy, and then every once in a while it would break. I would find myself successful and it would carry me just long enough to hit the next wall.
Despite all of these moments, the thing that kept me constant was my intention set at the beginning of the month. Even though it was half-assed and mostly based out of a need to be self-motivated, it worked. Anytime that I was struggling I would remind myself of the intention for the month and the desire that I had to make my month successful and slowly would make baby steps forward. I listened to podcasts about entrepreneurship, inspirational talks, and an amazing conversation between Glennon Doyle and Erica Williams on The Call—and by the end of the month, I was further along than I expected and felt more successful than I had been in a long time.
Intentionality isn’t some magical fix for all of your productivity issues and sometimes lack of motivation. It isn’t the cure for boredom and it isn’t something you can just have. Intentionality is something that, like all things, needs to be worked on. You have to remind yourself every day of your end goal. You have to get up and try every single moment of your life despite how you feel. You have to push forward and push past moments of doubt and low self-esteem and remind yourself every day of your end goal. The fact that I sound like a cheerleader right now is not lost on me, but in all sincerity, that’s what I did all month long. And at the same time, it was a continual battle, not to bottle up my feelings, and give in to the weight of my emotions. Give yourself the space to feel what you need to feel. If you are sad, then feel sad, but don’t wallow. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and push forward. Basically, I’m just saying, feel the feels, stay the course, and stay tuned for next month, where hopefully here at Tova & Wild I’ll be a little more organized, slightly more intentional, and radically honest in my approach.
Below are all of the stories, insights, and melodramas of the month. Take a gander if you haven’t and leave a comment below if you feel so inclined of your intentions for this month or the next.