It’s Beyoncé’s Birthday So Here Is Your Goodie Bag!

Can we just literally do a temperature check? Like, is it still 90 degrees here in Austin, Texas while clearly being Beyoncé’s Birthday, and like, September? I’m sorry, but this Californian is definitely not used to this weather. Also, like, what the hell is up with the severity of the rain here? I can’t.

I’m sorry.

But also, like, last month was seriously fucked up. I’m so over August, and while there was good progress made and some substantial hurdles that I personally overcame, like destroying my laptop on the 31st. I am ready for September to be a month full of love and light and possibility and purpose!

Is anyone else there with me!?????!??!?!?!?!?

As always, your Tovascopes are down below. I skim over Ophelia and Talu Edit’s predictions over at Astrostyle, condense them down, and report back to you nugget sized versions of your monthly predictions. Take a gander, and if you want more detail, head on over to their site to get all you need astrologically.


Virgo

Virgo

Hello, you lovely drop of sunshine you!!!!! It’s your birthday!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for all the exclamation points. It’s early in the morning and I’ve already downed three cups of coffee. The Sun is shining into your sign until the 22nd so soak it all in. You’ll be beaming with fresh ideas, desiring to explore new terrain, and longing to make some progress on your own dreams and desires, long-term and short-term.

According to the Astro Twins, on September 9, which is this Sunday, a Virgo new moon marks the start of your personal year for your sign. Essentially meaning that you have no need to start your year on December 31st like the rest of us saps, instead get a jump on it early. So Virgo. Coincidentally, it also happens to be Rosh Hashonnah, so if you’re Jewish, double whammy!

Word of advice, Neptune is going to be casting an opposing beam into this new moon phase, causing someone like a close friend or S.O. tugging at your sleeve a little too much, causing you to be distracted from your mission. Don’t let them steal your focus. In fact, if you’ve been thinking about cutting ties with a romantic relationship, be aware that it won’t exactly be easy to cut the ties at this moment. Emotional blackmail is real, and you Virgo, are not immune.

Libra

Libra

I really hate to be doing this to you boo, especially because I absolutely love Libras, but the start of September isn’t as peppy as you expected it to be. Restful energy is going to be lining your house until the 22nd, despite the fact that you’re still clinging on to summer as if it were leaving and never returning. Relax, seasons change, and just because fall happens to start in your month, some of you fortunate ones who live in temperate climates, won’t even need to worry about it, so calm the ‘F’ down.

The Astro Twins have been talking a lot about emotional healing with you BB. Might be just the right time to process some emotions, call up a friend, and let go of those pent-up feelings. You’ve been feeling Extra-sensitive lately, but instead of fighting it, lean into it. Journal, meditate, kickbox, the planets are aligned for you to forgive and forget, so release those things that have hurt you.

Scorpio

Scorpio

“If anyone’s up for a last-call barbecue or a beach day (who cares if they’re “closed”?), you’re there,” writes the Astro Twins.

You are outgoing, full of energy and ready to take this whole networking, reconnecting, and socializing thing by storm. Enjoy it by playing the social director and use your skills to schedule an impressive brunch or picnic in the park with some friends. You’re going to meet a ton of influential and newfound friends this month so don’t be afraid to be proud of your accomplishments and let them be known, humbly of course.

Saturn and Pluto have been in “backstroke” for a while now, causing you to have some tough love when it comes to communication. I know, I know, it’s the worst. I’m honestly rolling my eyes with you, but luckily things are going to change, actually so much so, that you might have to release a gag order on yourself. Mind your manners, especially on the 18th. That’s an explosive day for you.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

August was possibly the most annoying month that you’ve ever had to go through, believe me, Sag, I’m right there with you. Luckily, it’s over, and things are looking brighter, allowing your plans to finally come to fruition. It seems like the whole month of August was working, then stalling, then working, then backtracking, then working, then reversing, progress was slow and the universe was unyielding, but now, the wind is at your back and things are picking up, allowing you to make “money moves,” as Cardi B, puts it.

Keep up the good work and put in the long hours because on November 8th, I know, way into the future, your ruling planet, Jupiter, is making a yearlong visit in Sagittarius, causing you to have the most opportune years you’ve had since 2007! Set yourself up for victory, because the devil is in the details, and the more you have prepared, the more you will be able to tackle it effortlessly.

Capriconr

Capricorn

As hard as it may be, now is the time to widen your gaze, Capricorn! It’s Virgo season its making way in your “expansive” house until the 22nd, or at least that’s what the Astro Twins are saying. Stop focusing on the little details for once in your g-dang life and look beyond and the bigger scope of what it is you want to do. This is a transit season, allowing you to dream, take some well-timed risks, and start a passion project that could turn into a thriving enterprise. You are feeling fired up and ready, so take action!

As exciting as all of this sounds, take some advice from Taylor Swift, and Shake It Off, and by that I mean, the haters. They will come in spades this month. Someone, maybe even a close friend, might step into the scene trying to undermine your lofty visions and throw passive aggressive shade that makes you second-guess yourself. Don’t. Know that some people just don’t understand, and that’s okay, you don’t need to be everything for everyone, just be something for someone.

Aquarius

Aquarius

One of my favorite things about the cooler months is that you get to wear cozy sweaters and bundle up and drink warm drinks. Ya know? The other thing I love is having the downtime to curl up and read a book near a window staring off enigmatic of an old Parisian film. That’s basically you this month, Aquarius.

I know, not typically your natural state, but hang back because things are going to be shifting causing you to throw yourself into an all-consuming research project, new relationship, or processing all of the heavy emotions of summer. Hell, it could be all of the above.

This month is looking internal and intense. Use it to your advantage by taking steps to dream and plan for the future. At the same time, remember that you don’t ever have to do things alone. Reach out to the ones you love and start a project together, as the age old adage says, “if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.”

Pisces

Pisces

You have your eyes locked on love and there is no way that you are looking elsewhere. It’s commitment for you, Pisces, and while that is definitely something rare for your slipper sign, partnership behooves you.

If you’re already attached this could take the form of a new friendship or even a new business partner. Essentially, dynamic duo’s are your forte this month, and while you’re typically an all in sort of fish, this month, take the time to focus on your needs and your goals when partnering up.

Things start to heat up around the 18th when ego’s and tempers are through the roof. When you feel like reacting, don’t. Take the time to pause and ask questions first, don’t just fly off the handle because any form of communication is going to immediately be met with a hotheaded Mars. People can be snarky, passive-aggressive, and moody this month so be mindful of that and set your intentions on listening rather than speaking. If you have that one person in the office that just gets under your skin, try to avoid them because near the end of this month you won’t have any patience for any amount of annoyance. Best advice, steer clear of the haters!!!!

Aries

Aries

Healthy! Organized! Efficient! All of these words are summing up your September vibes, Aries, and you are f-ing loving it!!!!!!!

Summer has been full of indulgences and intensity, but now, you are moving past it and getting pumped to get all of your shit together. Set your intentions early this month and carefully calculate the path you want to take. Unfortunately, there is no easy way around those beginning stages, you just have to stay focused, stay dedicated, and commit to a five-star plan.

On the 9th you are going to have the perfect opportunity to overhaul your lifestyle, so book appointments, clean the house and fridge, and remember, the more pleasure you infuse into the minutiae, the more you will enjoy the process. Team up with a trusted source of wisdom and expertise, and collaborate together on achieving some lofty goals. However, make sure to let go of any tension from the previous month, because hot embers could still be burning causing tension in friendships and relationships. Stay cool, calm, and collected.

Taurus

Taurus

“Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight,” is your theme song for the start of September, Taurus. You are feeling hot, sensual, and full of passionate and playful desire until the 22nd. This could sort of become a full-time gig for your pleasure-seeking sign. Everyone and their mother is out nesting and starting to hibernate, and you are just gliding on summers last rays until they disappear and winter arrives. Enjoy this hedonistic side of your personality, just remember that as much time as you live it up, you also need to get some work done.

Near the end of the month, you are finally going to let go of all of the excitement and desperately need some R & R. Invest in the proper workout gear, classes, and nutrition programs because the wellness wagon will be full steam ahead, and you don’t want to miss it. Along with taking care of your physical body, make sure to take care of the mental and emotional side as well. Any grudges and issues that weren’t taken care of because of your spontaneity, handle them efficiently because the toxic scenarios in your life are not going to serve you, or allow you to serve your souls highest calling. Remember, take care of yourself first, so you can take care of others.

Gemini

Gemini

Cooking. Cleaning. Comfort. Cozy. Four ‘C’s I generally don’t associate with Gemini, however, this is basically your modus operandi for the month of September. While everyone is swinging back into work mode, you are longing for some down time to just relax. During this season, it’s imperative that you take it easy and allow yourself to accept help when offered.

All that said, the month might be a whirlwind for you. You are craving adventure and entrepreneurship so slumming it in your PJ’s might not exactly be what you had in mind. Take some time to browse travel blogs, dream, listen to podcasts, and develop your own indie business, all the while, lounging in the comfort of your own home.

If you’ve been concerned with finances and property over the past few months, and things haven’t necessarily worked out in your favor, things could be shifting around the 12th. Lessons you’ve learned in the past will help you in the future specifically regarding your finances now, take heed, invest, and don’t hold onto these feelings so tightly. You need to release them in order to move on from them.

Cancer

Cancer

You are bubbling over with excitement this month, Cancer!!!! Isn’t that just too cute! Exciting plans and newfound friendships developed over the summer are causing you to hang on to the last sunny days and spend time reminiscing over hilarious moments. Interestingly enough, your personal relationships are getting a facelift this month and finding lines of reciprocating affection will be able to come to fruition. No more giving and not getting, its time to even out those scales.

On the 9th, inspiration strikes and conversations could lead to much bigger plans over the next six months. Considering writing, teaching, or working in media? Now is the time to allow those dreams to take form and purposefully plan out those next big moves. Coincidentally, at the same time, this could lead to a new “power couple” territory, especially if there is a meeting of the minds surrounding your long-term goals. This could also show up as someone who is looking at you in more than just a friendly way, which is exciting and a little unnerving. Be careful not to act to impulsive, because temptation could be strong. Things that start casually could be difficult to disentangle from.

Leo

Leo

Meow, meow, meow? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,  meow, meow, meow, meow! That’s Leo for, “What’s up little kitty? This month you are all about those productivity vibes!”

You have laid down some serious dream planning in the previous month and September is the best time to start allowing those dreams to turn into purposeful visions of beauty. By the time other people are settling into their plans, you will be far ahead because of your early progress. Good for you!

The 9th is the perfect time for you to start a new diet or fitness trend to help you stay productive and energized. This month is going to give you a lot of retrograde relief, so take advantage of that and focus on the unfinished business that you didn’t get done because of it.

Are there conversations that you’ve halted because you couldn’t communicate clearly? Allow some time for you to get emotional and open up. They could turn into flowers of friendship that bloom into lifelong friendships. Meow! Meow! Meow! That’s Leo for, “You! Go! Girl/Guy!”