“I hate the idea that someone out there hates me.”
Or dislikes me, or moderately disagrees with me, or thinks I am… The list can go on and on. The quote comes from Pam Halpert, The Office, Fifth Season; and is one that has always stuck with me. No matter how hard I try to just roll with the punches, and take life as easy and breezy as those Covergirl models, that quote sums up how I have felt about so many relationships, acquaintances, colleagues, friends-of-friends, etc., where it seemed like the other person didn’t have quite the right impression of me.
I’m primarily talking about shallow relationships, as in relationships you have only had a few interactions with, people who have only met you a handful of times. Most of the time we hear about these negative impressions through friends, social media, or some other innocent source; and in an instance, reality comes crashing through that glass ceiling Hillary Clinton broke through, and lands right on our head.
Sometimes the hardest thing about dealing with these scenarios is the fact that you have absolutely no control over whether or not someone is going to like you. Walking down that path is actually the trap that ensnares you into moments of self-doubt, speculation, and worry, because, in reality, you cannot fix another person’s perception of you.
This can often be a challenging thing for you to face. For myself, I have often felt the need to overcompensate my personality and make myself a little of something for everyone. This has often lead to almost the exact same scenario: the person still maintains their original perception of me. But as a wise woman once said,
Don’t try to be something for everyone, just be everything for someone. – Leandra Medine
And as hard of a pill that is to swallow, it is also the most freeing reality you can ever lean into. Granted, for myself, this is something I have to work on constantly. Primarily because I am naturally extroverted, enjoy people, and remain somewhat vulnerable when meeting new people. But as Taylor Swift put it, you simply have to Shake It Off.